Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
