can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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