Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
