I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize