some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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