is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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