I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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