wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
operation harelip BJ is a go
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
