She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
