Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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