My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
