He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
