I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
