i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
