It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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