I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
