Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
