so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
