A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
