I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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