I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
