He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
