So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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