the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
