People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
