I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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