Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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