He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
