Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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