conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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