The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
