she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
