But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
