I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
