Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
