One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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