I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize