After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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