upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
how drunk are you?
Several
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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