my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
