Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
