New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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