Reggie can tackle my bush.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
