this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize