Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
