she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
