I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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