can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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