ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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