Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
