So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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