I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
