Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
