Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
