Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
