You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
