at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
