life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
