I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
