HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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