I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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